God is a Little Crazy... Isn't It Great?

There are so many days that I feel like I'm a terrible Christian and that I cannot comprehend why God loves me and blesses me in all the ways that he does.

This past week, the Holy Spirit slapped me in the face and reminded me that I'm not alone.

I've just been learning a lot about myself and the Holy Spirit lately, and it's really cool, actually. Earlier this week and even last week, he'd been pushing me to invest in a new study Bible, and I finally did. It's coming in next week, so I'm excited to dive back into the Word and have a Bible with all the notes and trivia that I love. Yay! 

Another thing is that I've loved getting to know my friend, Hilary, lately. She works in Orange County, so on Thursday nights when there's worship practice, I carpool with her home and back to the OC the next morning. These car rides have allowed for lots of time to talk and get to know each other. I've really enjoyed being able to spend this time with her and just get to know her in general. I've loved getting to know bits and pieces of her story throughout the weeks, and she's become a really great girlfriend, and I can't wait to get to know her better [: Shout-out to you, Hilary! 

I think the craziest thing of all started in choir recently. Before we started rehearsing for our choir festival we were going to be performing at and my choir director wanted to take prayer requests. I didn't think there was anything that I felt needed to be prayed for, but once she started praying over everyone's prayer requests, after praying over a girl's sister who had been depressed and suicidal, I lost it. 

I started bawling my eyes out, and I didn't know why. I actually still am not completely sure why, even now. I was depressed back in high school and definitely did not feel that way now. As my choir director kept praying, I just kept crying to myself, even as we went into a time of worship. I felt a great sense of peace and calmed down a bit until after choir. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to check my mailbox even though I didn't know why, but I did. There was no mail, but when I turned around, one of my good friends, Jacob, was standing there and asking how I was. As I started to tell him, I also started tearing up again. I began telling him through sniffles and tears about all the stress of school and life hitting me and he was just there, listening and encouraging me. He prayed for me before he headed off to work, and I once again felt at peace. I couldn't believe what God had so blatantly done in my life right then and there. It's true that a genuine desire to draw near to God will draw him near to you. I ran into my friends Kaciny and Sierra later and took a few pictures for them before they asked me the same question and I responded in the same way--in tears. I couldn't believe how emotional I was being, but I felt a sense of relief in releasing all those tears (and fears) to people I trusted. 

God is so good, and I mean those words with every bit of my being. He knows exactly what he's doing, even if you think he's crazy. Shoot, I know I think he's crazy sometimes. Regardless of it all, God is just so much more amazing and awe-inspiring than we could ever even comprehend. And you know what? I'm okay with that. At least I know that I'll be taken care of. 

How's God been working in you lately? I love hearing stories. Email me, if you'd like at: kriselle@livinandlovin.com. 

I hope that you are encouraged and that God bless you.