So today I am having Jordan Holley from The Spontaneous Idealist blogging for me today while I'm in Seattle, Washington for choir tour! Today's post is all about breakups (and no, don't worry my boyfriend and I aren't broken up)! As someone who's gone through breakups before, I think it's very fitting to have an idea of ways to get over it. It's hard for everyone, no matter the relationship, so getting over it in a healthy way is a good thing to know!
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I am so very excited to be guest posting with Kriselle, today!
She will be guest posting for me, so I am more than happy to return the favor. I am
hoping this is the beginning of a long-lasting blogger friendship.
As any good blogger, I will introduce myself. I am Jordan –
a 21 year old nursing student (graduating May 2015) who loves to eat good food,
travel, fashion, writing, and snuggling with my cat. I blog over at The
Spontaneous Idealist (http://jordanaholley.wordpress.com),
and I would love for you to come on over and check it out!
Today, I want to address a tinder subject: breakups. They
are unpleasant, nasty, and complicated – I know. My sophomore year of college,
the man I was head over heels in love with and I split. It was the hardest
thing I ever went through.
It is hard to accept the reality of the situation when you
are in pain. So, in true Sex and the City fashion, I am going to list the best
way to get through those first crucial months.
1. Find your buddies. You shouldn’t go
through breakups alone. Find the one (or two) people you can call when you are
distressed, crying like a baby at 3am, on the verge of calling him, or when you
pass the restaurant where you had the first date. These friends are crucial.
They need to be strong individuals who love you and are willing to stick beside
you at all costs. They need to bring you back to reality and not allow you to
wallow in your sorrow.
2. Listen to your buddies. I say this from
experience. When they give you advice on how to handle the situation at hand,
listen. Don’t be stubborn in your pain. Their minds are clouded by lost love. They
don’t have stupid written on their foreheads.
3. Go back to the Gospel. When you feel
left, alone, unworthy, and denied, go back to the basics. We tend to lose sight
of the one and only True Love – Christ who never leaves nor forsakes. No matter
your faults, short comings, sins, or worries, the Lord still loves you. In the
summer of 2012, I became a believer (through a breakup, actually). My friends
kept saying, “It is okay. Christ still loves you.” Those words rang in my ears
for months and were used to open my eyes to the beauty of the Gospel. (Refer to
#1 and #2.)
4. Take time for yourself. Don’t stretch
your calendar thin. Add some extra time to allow for those random “I can’t
believe this” moments. Take some time to pick up an old hobby: painting,
writing, SLEEPING. Go for a day hike at a State Park with your buddies. Don’t
be by yourself (could be mentally detrimental), but don’t put yourself in
awkward situations with large crowds. AND SLEEP.
5. “It is okay to not be okay”. Those were
some of the best words of advice ever given to me. Accept the fact that you are
not fine. And that that is perfectly acceptable. Don’t beat yourself up.
6. It will take time. Removing him from
your life will take time. If you spend hours sobbing over the pictures you took
together on your last date, have your bestie steal your phone, go through all
of your photo albums, and delete every picture of the two of you (true story:
it happened). As time moves on, the pain will subside and you won’t think twice
about deleting the emails, trashing the sweet notes, or disassociating yourself
from his family.
7. Cut your hair. In the words of one of
my idols, Coco Chanel, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.”
I have chopped my hair off when my highschool sweetheart and I ended it. And
recently, I cut bangs. It helps change your identity and freshens your look.
Why not? Nothing is stopping you.
This is not all the advice I have for this situation, but
hopefully it will give you the basics to start with. As time moves along, you
will be able to be “Fabulous” once again. You have any comments, suggestions, concerns, or are in need of
advice, please feel free to contact me. I am always available to help out a
sister.
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Be sure to check out Jordan's blog! She's a great blogger friend that I am excited to get to know, and I am glad she was able to cover for me while I was out and about today. I hope you guys can take something away from this post and apply it, maybe even to things outside of breakups. Until next time!
I once met a hairstylist who had a policy to never cut a girl's hair if she'd recently been through a break up. He said he'd cut too many broken-hearted girls' hair and had them come back a couple of weeks later sobbing over it. haha!
ReplyDeleteLove that quote! It's so try when I cute more than 3 inches off my hair it meant I was ready for a change and now when I graduate in May i'm thinking about cutting my hair again!
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I love that quote so much! After I graduated high school, I went from super long hair to a pixie cut and it felt so freeing. Also, this is a great post! Last year I dealt with this very acutely and this is all great advice! xx, Elizabeth
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